Have any advice for dating someone whose parents are divorced?
Leslie аѕkеԁ:
I Ɩονе mу boyfriend аחԁ want ουr relationship tο ɡеt stronger, bυt sometimes I don’t understand wһеrе һе′s coming frοm wһеח wе talk аbουt a problem. Hіѕ parents divorced wһеח һе wаѕ young, аחԁ һе mаkеѕ jokes аbουt һοw I һаνе a perfect family (yeah rіɡһt) аחԁ couldn’t understand bесаυѕе mу parents аrе still together. Hοw ԁο I ɡеt һіm tο trust mе аחԁ talk аbουt wһаt’s freaking һіm out? Iѕ tһеrе аחу way tο һеƖр һіm ѕο tһаt ουr relationship isn’t affected ѕο much bу һіѕ parents’ past?
Well my parents and my g/f parents are divorced. We talk about it all the time but it doesnt effect us.
I think he just needs someone to talk to and someone who will listen. Maybe all u need to do is listen…be there for him!
There is no way to “talk” him into learning to trust you. And I’m not sure that is the issue anyway.
Joking about your perfect family doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t trust you? I’m not understanding the leap here. You also don’t say what “the problem” is?
Might you be creating an issue that doesn’t actually exist?
Well imagine that your parents got a divorce
Once you know how he feels then try to talk to him about it.
He just wishes he could have really known what it was like to have both parents in the same house. Honestly, he should be happy that they are not because just think of how bad it is. I am glad my parents divorced and never wish for them to get together again. I know very well what it was like with the two of them in the same room. Just tell him that your family is not perfect and that no one is. Your parents argue like parents do.
My parents have been divorced since i was five and i don’t see how it could affect my relationships. But if his parents divorce really affected him then don’t push him to hard.
Just be patient, if he really wants to talk about it with you then eventually he will. Just tell him that you will always be there if he needs a shoulder to lean on if he ever wants to discuss it.
As for your overall question don’t treat him any different just because his parents are divorced silly!
It almost seems as your making a problem out of something that doesn’t exist.
Good luck!
My parents got divorced when I was 8 so I actualyl remember the whole situation. And recently my mom told me that paying for the divorce was the best thing she’s ever paid for. Now I am afraid of love, I’m afraid to get to know people really because I’m afraid that it will have the same ending as it did for my parents. I’ve promised myself one thing in life though and that is that if I ever get married and have children NEVER will I put them through everything that I’ve been through. It’s just not fair. Your boyfriend is probably afraid that you’ll both get hurt in the long run. I know this sounds really horrible but thanks to his parents your boyfriend probably doesn’t know what to expect with love and what it really means. You should talk to him about it, try to understand more. And do try to realize that by having your parents still together that you have had a lot less mental scarring. Not that divorce makes you go crazy… but now 8 years after the divorce, I still cry over it. Just remember that he’s been put through something hard and doesn’t want the same thing to happen to you two I bet =)